Abused Swan 

 

 

 

 

           Deanna has done a self study on how men manipulate and have created three techniques she calls “shock and awe” “planting the seed” and “left out.”  When a man wants to throw a woman off balance he will use the “shock and awe” technique. This technique is done by usually telling a lie that will render the woman speechless. When a man uses different words to create meaning in sentences or to imply something different from what he is meaning, he is “planting the seed.” Men will purposely leave out information in a sentence that they do not want a woman to know, this is the “left out” technique.

 

 

 

 

 

         An example of these techniques occurs when a wife says to her husband. “What do you want to do this weekend?” He replies, “There is a cool band playing at the Festival.”  Saturday morning the husband says,   “I need to run some errands this morning but will have them completed by one o’clock.” What he left out is that one of his errands is to spend time with his girlfriend whom the wife does not know about. Typically, people will give a list of detail as to what they intend to do. (Technique “left out.”) The wife has the children ready by one o’clock and says to the husband, “We are ready to go to the Festival.” The husband says, “I thought we would just spend some time around the house.” The husband knows the wife is planning on going to the Festival, but then changes his mind at the last minute. This upsets the wife and stops her from having a conversation about the errands he ran this morning. This conversation would put him on the spot as to where he was. The wife is upset and frustrated and walks away. (Technique “shock and awe”) A week later, the couple, are at a restaurant with some friends. Someone says, “What did you think about the band at the Festival?” The husband replies, “We did not go, my wife was upset all day.”  The wife is shocked by this comment. All she can see is the color red and wants to punch him, but knows violence is not the answer, and that they are in public. She becomes quiet for the rest of the evening because she is afraid her anger will be leashed on an innocent party. On the way home the wife states to her husband, “You are the one who said you wanted to go to the Festival and then changed your mind at the last minute.” The husband replies, “I never said that.”  The couple will argue and the husband will state he never said he wanted to go to the Festival.

 

         

 

 

 

      Look back at what the husband said. He said, “There is a cool band playing at the Festival.” Never did he say he wanted to go and see the band. (Technique “planting the seed”) Therefore, the husband is justified in saying he never wanted to go see the band. The wife feels as if she is losing her mind and ends up thinking the problem is she did not hear him correctly. After all, who would think a person who loves you, would intentionally try to make you feel as if you are crazy.