| Women are leaving their husbands and find themselves in a legal battle to keep custody of their children. These mother's have no idea that their lives will be turned upside down, trying to get away from an unloving man. Child protective services are removing children from mothers when the father is not involved in the child/children's life. |
New
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web site
will go on
abusedswan
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blogspot.com.
information
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Abused Swan
| Mothers going through this situation feel as if they are alone. There are no support groups and very few counselors are educated on how the system works in favor the abuser. Out of all divorces, 80% are uncontested custody cases, and the mother is the primary care giver to the children. Those 20% that are contested cases, the abusive father will gain custody 72% of the time. "Studies show batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases." (American Judges Association) (Custody Preparations for Moms Organization, 2006) "Fathers who batter mothers are two times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children than are nonviolent fathers." (APA 1996, P, 40) (Custody Preparations for Moms Organization, 2006) |
If you forgive
anyone, I also
what I have
forgiven-if there
was anything to
forgive- I have
forgiven in the
sight of Christ
for your sake, in
order that Satan
might not outwit
us. For we are
not unaware of
his schemes
2Corinthians
2:10
anyone, I also
what I have
forgiven-if there
was anything to
forgive- I have
forgiven in the
sight of Christ
for your sake, in
order that Satan
might not outwit
us. For we are
not unaware of
his schemes
2Corinthians
2:10
Child Protective Services (CPS) is allowing the system to be bogged down by
abusive fathers making false reports. There is no reprimand for this misuse of
the organization and the harassing of the mothers. When mothers call about
serious allegations, they are ignored and thought to be seeking revenge
against the abuser.
CPS are giving fathers custody of their children when they are emotionally,
physically, and sexually abusing their children. Mothers are being blamed for
their children's anger or being said to have psychological disorders without
proof of such disorders.
Traumatic events, such as legal domestic abuse, can result is serious stress and
have consequences for women. Women in this situation can develop Post
Turmatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Symptoms include nightmares, difficulty with intimate relationships, and loss
of trust. Psychological disorders may occur such as depression, anxiety, and
substance problems.
Many women going through legal domestic abuse hesitate to seek help or wait
years before getting treatment.
Treatments that can help with PTSD are cognitive behavioral therapy, group
treatment, and Rapid Eye Movement Desentization (REMD)
abusive fathers making false reports. There is no reprimand for this misuse of
the organization and the harassing of the mothers. When mothers call about
serious allegations, they are ignored and thought to be seeking revenge
against the abuser.
CPS are giving fathers custody of their children when they are emotionally,
physically, and sexually abusing their children. Mothers are being blamed for
their children's anger or being said to have psychological disorders without
proof of such disorders.
Traumatic events, such as legal domestic abuse, can result is serious stress and
have consequences for women. Women in this situation can develop Post
Turmatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Symptoms include nightmares, difficulty with intimate relationships, and loss
of trust. Psychological disorders may occur such as depression, anxiety, and
substance problems.
Many women going through legal domestic abuse hesitate to seek help or wait
years before getting treatment.
Treatments that can help with PTSD are cognitive behavioral therapy, group
treatment, and Rapid Eye Movement Desentization (REMD)
| This web site was created from the ashes of abuse. |
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| Vote for Stacey Mathia for Governor! Stacey knows about the Family Court Issues and she is not sweeping these issues under the rug! Stacey intends to use the Executive Branch to review the State systems which involve separating children from parents, and wherever possible to correct the many abuses in these State systems. Vote Stacey Mathia |
| American Mothers Political Party It's time for non custodial mothers to come together Watch their awesome video and sign up today! AMPP |
Abused Swan is raising $10,000
by Non Custodial Mother's Day, October 28, 2010 to help non
custodial mothers in Michigan. Donate today to help hurting
mothers who are missing their children.
All of the Michigan's House of Representatives and Senate
are turning a blind eye to these mother's
cry for help!
by Non Custodial Mother's Day, October 28, 2010 to help non
custodial mothers in Michigan. Donate today to help hurting
mothers who are missing their children.
All of the Michigan's House of Representatives and Senate
are turning a blind eye to these mother's
cry for help!
Maternal alienation occurs in a context of violence against women and
children, whereby perpetrators of abuse deliberately try to destroy the
relationship between children and their mother (Morris 1999). Research
shows that maternal alienation is used as a strategy of abuse across a
continuum of violence and abuse, which includes child sexual abuse, and
domestic violence. It is a form of emotional abuse that is used in
conjunction with other types of abuse to enforce secrecy, maintain power
and control, injure and punish.
Research into the tactics used by child sex offenders to entrap their
victims and enforce secrecy show that their strongest target is to break
the mother-child relationship (Hooper 1992; Laing 1999). In the area of
domestic violence recent reports draw attention to the manipulation and
undermining of the mother-child relationship by men who use violence and
abuse (Irwin 2002; Mullender 2002).
The 1999 research project on maternal alienation identified that within
both domestic violence and child sexual abuse similar strategies are used
to undermine the mother child relationship. These strategies both
disparage the mother as a figure to be despised, and elevate the father
as combination of victim-hero (Morris 1999).
The strategies used in maternal alienation
Messages about mothers
• “Your mother doesn’t love you";
• “Your mother is crazy";
• “Your mother is lazy";
• “Your mother is loathsome";
• “Your mother is a bad mother";
• “Your mother is to blame for everything".
Messages about themselves – alienator as victim/hero
• “I’m poor – your mother took everything from me”;
• (with daughters) “Poor me – I need you to look after me";
• (with sons) “As men we’re special, and the more you join me in laughing
at and degrading the females in the family, the more you become a
real man like me”.
Actions to alienate
• ‘Buy’ children;
• Stop mothers having contact;
• Threaten or punish children who don’t comply with his regime;
• Hold out ‘carrots’ – children constantly have to perform to get his
notice, affection or approval;
• Tell children to defy their mothers (coach them in degrading and
abusive acts towards women);
• Involve community, neighbors, and her family in her degradation.
Overview of the strategies
• The strategies are used in powerful combinations, in matrices which
lock the meanings of the acts and messages together, which makes it
difficult for those at whom these strategies are directed to unravel
where they have come from.
• The messages are contradictory and tyrannical. They use rhetorical
devices to provoke an extreme emotional response.
• The process of maternal alienation is relentless and ongoing, often for
decades.
• They shape children's views of their mother, their abuse and the
environment they live in, in powerful ways.
• They contradict children's own experiences, and therefore can block
their own healing.
• Children are generally not aware that these messages are lies or
distortions of events.
• The messages serve to conceal or excuse the abuse that these men
perpetrate.
• In blaming mothers, alienators direct children's anger towards their
mothers, and community anger towards the women in these families,
who are themselves victims of violence.
children, whereby perpetrators of abuse deliberately try to destroy the
relationship between children and their mother (Morris 1999). Research
shows that maternal alienation is used as a strategy of abuse across a
continuum of violence and abuse, which includes child sexual abuse, and
domestic violence. It is a form of emotional abuse that is used in
conjunction with other types of abuse to enforce secrecy, maintain power
and control, injure and punish.
Research into the tactics used by child sex offenders to entrap their
victims and enforce secrecy show that their strongest target is to break
the mother-child relationship (Hooper 1992; Laing 1999). In the area of
domestic violence recent reports draw attention to the manipulation and
undermining of the mother-child relationship by men who use violence and
abuse (Irwin 2002; Mullender 2002).
The 1999 research project on maternal alienation identified that within
both domestic violence and child sexual abuse similar strategies are used
to undermine the mother child relationship. These strategies both
disparage the mother as a figure to be despised, and elevate the father
as combination of victim-hero (Morris 1999).
The strategies used in maternal alienation
Messages about mothers
• “Your mother doesn’t love you";
• “Your mother is crazy";
• “Your mother is lazy";
• “Your mother is loathsome";
• “Your mother is a bad mother";
• “Your mother is to blame for everything".
Messages about themselves – alienator as victim/hero
• “I’m poor – your mother took everything from me”;
• (with daughters) “Poor me – I need you to look after me";
• (with sons) “As men we’re special, and the more you join me in laughing
at and degrading the females in the family, the more you become a
real man like me”.
Actions to alienate
• ‘Buy’ children;
• Stop mothers having contact;
• Threaten or punish children who don’t comply with his regime;
• Hold out ‘carrots’ – children constantly have to perform to get his
notice, affection or approval;
• Tell children to defy their mothers (coach them in degrading and
abusive acts towards women);
• Involve community, neighbors, and her family in her degradation.
Overview of the strategies
• The strategies are used in powerful combinations, in matrices which
lock the meanings of the acts and messages together, which makes it
difficult for those at whom these strategies are directed to unravel
where they have come from.
• The messages are contradictory and tyrannical. They use rhetorical
devices to provoke an extreme emotional response.
• The process of maternal alienation is relentless and ongoing, often for
decades.
• They shape children's views of their mother, their abuse and the
environment they live in, in powerful ways.
• They contradict children's own experiences, and therefore can block
their own healing.
• Children are generally not aware that these messages are lies or
distortions of events.
• The messages serve to conceal or excuse the abuse that these men
perpetrate.
• In blaming mothers, alienators direct children's anger towards their
mothers, and community anger towards the women in these families,
who are themselves victims of violence.